Divorce is rampant in America today with more then half of all marriages ending in divorce. For me it’s personal, my parents were divorced when I was two and my mom was married four times by the time I was a junior in high school. Needless to say my formative years were shaped by the destruction that divorce causes in a family.
In scripture there there is only one place where Jesus interacts with someone who is deeply impacted by divorce and that’s in John 4 and the woman at the well. Jesus never condoned her divorces but he didn’t condemn her as a person either. Jesus offered what she truly needed a relationship with God and a hope with no end, himself.
Divorce is not Gods plan. It feels like the easy route to happiness but causes destruction. Most of the time divorce happens when two people aren’t getting along in marriage and aren’t willing to do the hard work to fix it. So they think just ending the marriage will get them out of the bad situation. It does provide distance from fights and confrontation but it causes destruction in almost all of your relationships. Especial for the children of divorcing parents.
So as the child of divorcing parents how do you deal with it. First You can’t fix your parents marriage. It’s not your relationship so you can’t do the hard work for them. Even so the idea of divorcing parents calls into question everything in your life especially your own identity and your relationship with either parent.
We all have imperfect parents but whether your parents are together or not but as a believer in Christ you have a perfect father in heaven who loves you and gave his son so that he could know you.
God loved you so much that he gave his most prized possession so he could re-establish a relationship with you. You are that important to Him. That is the fact that will get you through the tough time when you struggling with how to deal with your parents divorce.
But what are some practice steps to getting through you parents divorce?
4 things you can do to deal with divorce in your family 1. Talk to God – daily quiet time, journaling 2. Lean on friends 3. Ask for help – God, Friends, teachers, pastors, etc 4. Give yourself a break – it’s not your fault don’t act like it is, give yourself breaks from it go for a drive get out of the house, etc
Maybe it’s not your parents but a close Friend of yours who’s parents are going through it and you want to know how to help.
3 Ways You Can Help a Friend Deal with Divorce 1. Be there – talk it out or just be quiet 2. Invite them out or over to your house – Give stable environment to escape to 3. Pray for them
Be determined not to let it happen in your own marriage!