Going outside . . . An introverts guide to Social Situations

I’m an introvert, but I have to be social in the field that God has called me to.

Here is how I approach social situations because I hate the awkward silence and not knowing what to say. I ask questions.

That’s profound I know. I’m in a people centered job which I love but being in large groups or events makes me tired and uncomfortable. I don’t go to concerts or festivals for just those reasons. But in a fundraising dinner or a golf tournament, where being social and friendly is a necessity, I ask questions.

What do you do, how did you hear about the event, who are you related to in the wedding party, Are you from around here?

That’s my trick, it puts the ownership of the conversation on the other person and gives me a chance to find something they’re interested in.

On top of that I observe. What kind of clothes are they wearing, cross fit shoes, an mma t-shirt, boat shoes, do they have kids, etc? do they have an accent? All these things give me questions to ask and try to get them talking.

Like anything else it’s a skill so practice makes perfect.

What do you do?

Being Overweight Impacting your Effectiveness?

This sounds shallow and superficial, but if you live in Southern California like I do. You will be judged by your appearance. Probably more than any other place in the world.

I have seen it impact churches as well. I knew a minister who came in from the south, great heart for God and a passion for people but very over weight. The locals looked at them and immediately think that they don’t have anything to offer. Solely because of their appearance. Is that right, of course not but it begs the question. What is God’s perspective on the state of your physical body.

1 Corinthians 3:16 (NIV) 16 Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in your midst?

1 Timothy 4:8 (NIV) 8 For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.

So physical training is of some value but spiritual training is obviously Paul’s main thrust. But can’t we see that if your physical self is so out of balance that there is a spiritual problem. I’ve heard multiple accounts of young women who were sexually abused so they over ate In order to make themselves unattractive. Isn’t that a physical manifestation of spiritual problem?

We are spiritual beings who exist in a physical world. If we have spiritual problems many times they manifest in physical problems. Lack of self-control can show its self in addictions, overeating aka being fat, smoking, drinking etc.

Beyond that, I’m not super over weight(I do carry around a few extra pounds that I don’t need) but I have a family history of diabetes and heart disease. I want to be as effective as possible in the small amount of time I have on earth. That means I need this physical machine that my soul drives around the earth needs to be well maintained. Be Fit and healthy so it can do anything God asks of me.

So I believe not taking care of your self is an offence to God. He gave me this body and I need to be a good steward of it. Not worshiping it but maintaining it for his Glory and use.

How is the state of your Body impacting your effectiveness?

3 Steps to Telling YOUR God Story

Everybody has a story. If you have a relationship with God, aka you’re a Christian, then you have a God story. That is how God is working in your life.

I think its comical that believers have “witness envy”. You know you don’t have the,”  I was a axe murder then one day one of my victims shared Jesus with me and I gave my life to Christ and moved to Somalia to feed the poor, story” . But everyone has a God story and most likely it is relevant to the people you Know and are going to share it with.

There are two types of God stories that you can share with those around you. There’s (1) how you came to put your faith in Jesus and (2)  what God is doing in your life.

. . . Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, (1 Peter 3:15 NIV)

Basic steps for telling your God story 1. You before God – what was it that drew you to want God in your life. Don’t over glamorize how bad you were. 2. How you met God – how did you get introduced. What was it that made you fall in love with Christ. 3. How has you life changed – what about you is different.  What hope do you have now that you have chosen to follow Christ.

It only takes a few minutes to think through it. You don’t have to be a polished speaker to share your story. My experience has been that most of the time this happens over a meal or coffee with a Friend. If you want to practice try it on a Friend who is a Christian.

“Anything worth doing is worth doing badly” – GK Chesterton

The most important part is just to tell it. Your Story is how God changed your life, that’s a miracle.

Overcoming Your Parents Divorce

Divorce is rampant in America today with more then half of all marriages ending in divorce. For me it’s personal, my parents were divorced when I was two and my mom was married four times by the time I was a junior in high school. Needless to say my formative years were shaped by the destruction that divorce causes in a family.

In scripture there there is only one place where Jesus interacts with someone who is deeply impacted by divorce and that’s in John 4 and the woman at the well. Jesus never condoned her divorces but he didn’t condemn her as a person either. Jesus offered what she truly needed a relationship with God and a hope with no end, himself.

Divorce is not Gods plan. It feels like the easy route to happiness but causes destruction. Most of the time divorce happens when two people aren’t getting along in marriage and aren’t willing to do the hard work to fix it. So they think just ending the marriage will get them out of the bad situation. It does provide distance from fights and confrontation but it causes destruction in almost all of your relationships. Especial for the children of divorcing parents.

So as the child of divorcing parents how do you deal with it. First You can’t fix your parents marriage. It’s not your relationship so you can’t do the hard work for them. Even so the idea of divorcing parents calls into question everything in your life especially your own identity and your relationship with either parent.

We all have imperfect parents but whether your parents are together or not but as a believer in Christ you have a perfect father in heaven who loves you and gave his son so that he could know you.

God loved you so much that he gave his most prized possession so he could re-establish a relationship with you. You are that important to Him. That is the fact that will get you through the tough time when you struggling with how to deal with your parents divorce.

But what are some practice steps to getting through you parents divorce?

4 things you can do to deal with divorce in your family 1. Talk to God – daily quiet time, journaling 2. Lean on friends 3. Ask for help – God, Friends, teachers, pastors, etc 4. Give yourself a break – it’s not your fault don’t act like it is, give yourself breaks from it go for a drive get out of the house, etc

Maybe it’s not your parents but a close Friend of yours who’s parents are going through it and you want to know how to help.

3 Ways You Can Help a Friend Deal with Divorce 1. Be there – talk it out or just be quiet 2. Invite them out or over to your house – Give stable environment to escape to 3. Pray for them

Most importantly

Be determined not to let it happen in your own marriage!

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